How to Overcome Worry – A Productivity Killer!
If you’ve ever agreed to take on a project that’s out of your comfort zone – maybe your boss asked you to oversee a new project, or you agreed to do something for someone you know has high standards – then you’ve possibly experienced the effects that worry and anxiety can have on your productivity.
There are two ways that anxiety can affect your performance, depending on your personality:
1) If you’re someone who thrives on challenges, it can fine tune your senses to analyze the situation: determine what resources you need, plan how much time it will take and motivate you to get working on it.
2) On the other hand, if you’re like many people, the challenge may send your mind into a spin, set your heart racing, and bring all sorts of negative thoughts into your mind – and you’re left feeling overwhelmed, and perhaps even helpless.
People in the second category may start to doubt their ability to complete the task properly or in time. You may start to fear being judged by others, wonder how you’ll fit the task in with all the other things you have to do, or let your imagination run loose and exaggerate the possible consequences of not doing a good job.
There are two common reactions when anxiety kicks in:
1) Procrastination
When this anxiety begins, a common reaction is procrastination. You will find every excuse not to do the project: suddenly the ironing looks very appealing, or you find yourself sorting out all those papers you’ve been stuffing in your filing cabinet for ages.
These are avoidance tactics, and all they do is defer and increase your anxiety and worries. You end up doing a rushed job that leaves you dissatisfied with the quality of your work.
2) Perfectionism
The other response may be that you will take ages over the project trying to make it perfect; checking it and double checking it over and over again. And you do this so many times that you miss the deadline and end up feeling disappointed in yourself anyway for not getting it done on time.
What to Do About Pressure
If you want to avoid getting into either of these situations, you might find these tips useful:
• Turn to Allah
If you find yourself worrying about your new project, take a minute to supplicate to Allah:
”O Allah! I seek refuge with You from worry and grief…” (Bukhari)
You can make du’a sincerely from your heart, and also find supplications for sorrow, grief, and anxiety in Fortress of the Muslim.
• Don’t listen to whispers from Shaytan
Don’t give in and be put off by your project. And remember that “Nothing will happen to us except what Allah has decreed for us.” (Surah Al-Tawba, 9:51). Worrying won’t change much so take action, do your best, and put your trust in Allah.
• Challenge those Negative Thoughts
If you have lots of self-doubt and worries about your ability to do the job, it’s pretty hard to get going with the task. It may be easier said than done, but challenging those negative thoughts needs to be done. Ask yourself why you don’t believe that you can do it, by the Help and Mercy of Allah. Take some time out to dig deep and question yourself as to what really is at the bottom of your worries.
What is the worst that could really happen with this project?
-How likely is that to happen?
-Is this a logical worry?
Facing the worst case scenario will help you see it’s probably not as bad as you think.
If you have difficulty locating the real source of your worries and worrying is becoming a persistent problem for you, it may be useful to work through this with a counselor, peer, or coach.
• De-stress
If your worries are making you feel stressed, take some time to calm down: take a few deep breathers, take a nice walk in nature to clear your mind, listen to or recite the Qur’an or do some dhikr. “Verily, in the remembrance of Allah do hearts find rest.”(Surah Al-Ra’d 13:28)
• Work Out Your Priorities
Once you’ve worked through those thoughts and calmed yourself down, you can then move onto planning your strategy to overcome your specific worries.
If you’re juggling many activities at once, sit down and work out which ones are the most important to do. Some people find the ABC system useful. Go through the things that you want to do and label them:
“A”: Tasks that are urgent and important,
“B”: Tasks that are important, but not urgent,
“C”: Tasks that are neither urgent nor important.
Then, concentrate on the “A” tasks first.
• Create a Plan to Complete Your Project
Rather than worrying about not being able to complete your project on time, plan how you are going to complete it, with smaller deadlines, and create some contingency plans…just in case.
You might find the ProductiveMuslim Taskinator useful here. Write down your plan and stick to it; but if things don’t go according to plan, just re-evaluate, re-strategize, and keep going.
• Aim for “Good Enough”
Yes, you need to perform to the best of your ability, ”And practice Ihsan (striving for excellence/perfection). Truly, Allah loves the doers of Ihsan.” (Surah Al-Baqarah, 2:195) But look realistically at your time, skill and resources and work out based on these factors, what will be good enough under those circumstances; you can expect excellence, but not perfection from yourself. Do your best.
• Focus on the Task at Hand
Instead of ruminating on your worries, turn to Allah, get on with the task at hand and focus your energies on it. You’ll find that once you have actually made a start, the worries will rapidly decrease, because you’re acting against the whispers of Shaytan.
The Messenger (Peace and blessings be upon him) said: “ A strong believer is better and is more lovable to Allah than a weak believer, and there is good in everyone, (but) cherish that which gives you benefit (in the Hereafter) and seek help from Allah and do not lose heart, and if anything (in the form of trouble) comes to you, don’t say: If I had not done that, it would not have happened so and so, but say: Allah did that what He had ordained to do and your” if” opens the (gate) for the Satan. ” (Muslim)
About the Author
Amal Stapley, a Life Coach for Muslim women and founder of CoachAmal, who established the SuperMuslimah Project (www.coachamal.com) to support, motivate and encourage Muslim women to step forward in their lives with confidence. After accepting Islam in 1992, she graduated from the International Islamic University of Malaysia with a degree in Psychology and Islamic studies, and then went on to work with Islamic organizations in the USA, Egypt and now in her home country, the UK.
There are two ways that anxiety can affect your performance, depending on your personality:
1) If you’re someone who thrives on challenges, it can fine tune your senses to analyze the situation: determine what resources you need, plan how much time it will take and motivate you to get working on it.
2) On the other hand, if you’re like many people, the challenge may send your mind into a spin, set your heart racing, and bring all sorts of negative thoughts into your mind – and you’re left feeling overwhelmed, and perhaps even helpless.
People in the second category may start to doubt their ability to complete the task properly or in time. You may start to fear being judged by others, wonder how you’ll fit the task in with all the other things you have to do, or let your imagination run loose and exaggerate the possible consequences of not doing a good job.
There are two common reactions when anxiety kicks in:
1) Procrastination
When this anxiety begins, a common reaction is procrastination. You will find every excuse not to do the project: suddenly the ironing looks very appealing, or you find yourself sorting out all those papers you’ve been stuffing in your filing cabinet for ages.
These are avoidance tactics, and all they do is defer and increase your anxiety and worries. You end up doing a rushed job that leaves you dissatisfied with the quality of your work.
2) Perfectionism
The other response may be that you will take ages over the project trying to make it perfect; checking it and double checking it over and over again. And you do this so many times that you miss the deadline and end up feeling disappointed in yourself anyway for not getting it done on time.
What to Do About Pressure
If you want to avoid getting into either of these situations, you might find these tips useful:
• Turn to Allah
If you find yourself worrying about your new project, take a minute to supplicate to Allah:
”O Allah! I seek refuge with You from worry and grief…” (Bukhari)
You can make du’a sincerely from your heart, and also find supplications for sorrow, grief, and anxiety in Fortress of the Muslim.
• Don’t listen to whispers from Shaytan
Don’t give in and be put off by your project. And remember that “Nothing will happen to us except what Allah has decreed for us.” (Surah Al-Tawba, 9:51). Worrying won’t change much so take action, do your best, and put your trust in Allah.
• Challenge those Negative Thoughts
If you have lots of self-doubt and worries about your ability to do the job, it’s pretty hard to get going with the task. It may be easier said than done, but challenging those negative thoughts needs to be done. Ask yourself why you don’t believe that you can do it, by the Help and Mercy of Allah. Take some time out to dig deep and question yourself as to what really is at the bottom of your worries.
What is the worst that could really happen with this project?
-How likely is that to happen?
-Is this a logical worry?
Facing the worst case scenario will help you see it’s probably not as bad as you think.
If you have difficulty locating the real source of your worries and worrying is becoming a persistent problem for you, it may be useful to work through this with a counselor, peer, or coach.
• De-stress
If your worries are making you feel stressed, take some time to calm down: take a few deep breathers, take a nice walk in nature to clear your mind, listen to or recite the Qur’an or do some dhikr. “Verily, in the remembrance of Allah do hearts find rest.”(Surah Al-Ra’d 13:28)
• Work Out Your Priorities
Once you’ve worked through those thoughts and calmed yourself down, you can then move onto planning your strategy to overcome your specific worries.
If you’re juggling many activities at once, sit down and work out which ones are the most important to do. Some people find the ABC system useful. Go through the things that you want to do and label them:
“A”: Tasks that are urgent and important,
“B”: Tasks that are important, but not urgent,
“C”: Tasks that are neither urgent nor important.
Then, concentrate on the “A” tasks first.
• Create a Plan to Complete Your Project
Rather than worrying about not being able to complete your project on time, plan how you are going to complete it, with smaller deadlines, and create some contingency plans…just in case.
You might find the ProductiveMuslim Taskinator useful here. Write down your plan and stick to it; but if things don’t go according to plan, just re-evaluate, re-strategize, and keep going.
• Aim for “Good Enough”
Yes, you need to perform to the best of your ability, ”And practice Ihsan (striving for excellence/perfection). Truly, Allah loves the doers of Ihsan.” (Surah Al-Baqarah, 2:195) But look realistically at your time, skill and resources and work out based on these factors, what will be good enough under those circumstances; you can expect excellence, but not perfection from yourself. Do your best.
• Focus on the Task at Hand
Instead of ruminating on your worries, turn to Allah, get on with the task at hand and focus your energies on it. You’ll find that once you have actually made a start, the worries will rapidly decrease, because you’re acting against the whispers of Shaytan.
The Messenger (Peace and blessings be upon him) said: “ A strong believer is better and is more lovable to Allah than a weak believer, and there is good in everyone, (but) cherish that which gives you benefit (in the Hereafter) and seek help from Allah and do not lose heart, and if anything (in the form of trouble) comes to you, don’t say: If I had not done that, it would not have happened so and so, but say: Allah did that what He had ordained to do and your” if” opens the (gate) for the Satan. ” (Muslim)
About the Author
Amal Stapley, a Life Coach for Muslim women and founder of CoachAmal, who established the SuperMuslimah Project (www.coachamal.com) to support, motivate and encourage Muslim women to step forward in their lives with confidence. After accepting Islam in 1992, she graduated from the International Islamic University of Malaysia with a degree in Psychology and Islamic studies, and then went on to work with Islamic organizations in the USA, Egypt and now in her home country, the UK.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Making Worry-Free Decisions
“I can’t make decisions...I always worry that things won’t turn out right.”
“I’m indecisive; I tend to think too much.”
“I don’t feel confident about my decisions.”
Ever caught yourself saying anything like this?
I often hear phrases like these from my clients. Worrying over decisions is a real issue for many sisters, so I thought it would be useful to give you some tools to overcome your decision-making worries. F, this one’s for you!
Many sisters are wary about taking decisions, especially the major ones. They take ages thinking about them, imagining all the worst potential scenarios that could ever possibly occur. They toss their ideas around in their head, worrying for days, and then often end up not moving forward. It’s not that these sisters don’t make a decision, they do; but the decision is often not to make any changes and to stay within their familiar zone, no matter how uncomfortable that is!
Other sisters act on their decisions, but afterwards they go over and over what they did, berating themselves for not having done it better/more/less. They don’t look for the possible good in what was done; just what they perceive as being bad or wrong.
What a sad situation...so much joy, pleasure and satisfaction being missed, and also time needlessly wasted! So what can be done to remedy this?
There are a number of different models to assist with the decision making process, and I’ve merged a few of them together to give you the:
SuperMuslimah Project Worry-Free Decision Making Model: SAIISTA
1. Define the Situation
The first stage is to be clear on what the decision is all about. This might sound too obvious, but until you really analyse what you want to change and achieve and whether this fits in with your personal goals, you could be spending time on the wrong decision.
Is it just that you want to lose 10kg in weight or do you also want your husband and children to lose weight too? Do you just want to get a new job or do you want one that enables you to better meet your responsibilities? There may be more than one thing that you need to factor in.
State your desired outcome in a positive way so you know precisely what you hope to achieve. Instead of saying, “I want to stop spending so much time alone,” you could decide that “I want to meet some new sisters who I have interests in common with”.
2. Generate Alternatives
It will depend on the complexity of the decision how long this stage will take. Complex decisions could necessitate you sitting down with a piece of paper or your journal and brainstorming as many options as possible. Follow threads of ideas and see where they take you. Let your imagination run wild. You can always eliminate the ludicrous ideas later on, but in the middle of them you might just come up with a creative way to deal with the situation.
It may also be useful to do this exercise with someone else so you can bounce ideas off each other and come up with novel solutions.
3. Istishara (Information Gathering)
One of the characteristics of the believers is that “And whose affair [is determined by] consultation among themselves.” (Surah Ash-Shura, 42:38)
So once you have generated your own options, seek information from trustworthy knowledgeable people or sources. That may mean consulting a dietician, going to a careers coach or researching the internet for local Islamic groups you could join. Don’t take too long on this stage, as it could turn into another means of avoiding taking the decision!
Once you’ve got as much information as you reasonably can, weigh up the pros and cons of your information. Do this either by writing them down so you can work through them or, depending on the subject and your own preferred style, it may be sufficient to just weigh them up mentally.
4. Istikhara (Prayer for Guidance)
The next stage is Istikhara; praying to Allah for guidance to make the right decision. “Allah's Prophet (salAllahu `alayhi wasallam) used to teach his Companions to perform the prayer of Istikhara for each and every matter, just as he used to teach them the Surahs from the Qur'an.” (Bukhari)
Pray two Rakahs of voluntary prayer at the best time possible and when you’ve finished turn to Allah and ask Him to guide you to make the right decision. If you can’t pray due to a lawful reason, just do the Dua` on its own; you don’t need to wait.
5. Make your Selection
Next comes the time when you need to make your choice. It’s decision time. Make sure that you are in a good frame of mind to make your decision, that your thoughts are clear and you aren’t feeling stressed.
As you’ve already done Istikhara, follow your inclinations to whatever you feel inspired to do. Accept Allah’s guidance; listen to what your heart is telling you. You’ve already done the research; it’s now time to listen to your heart. And if your inclinations have changed after doing Istikhara, don’t insist on doing what you were inclined to previously, follow the new inclination.
6. Tawakkul (Putting your trust in Allah)
Allah tells us: “And when you have decided, then rely upon Allah.” (Surah Al-Imran, 3:159) Place your trust in Him that whatever you have decided is the best thing for you to do now. You can’t anticipate all the consequences that will come from your decision, only Allah knows what they will be. Accept that whatever the result, whether you judge it to be good or bad, it will be what was meant to be and it will be best for you in the long term.
"No slave of Allah will truly believe until he believes in al-Qadr its good and evil, and until he realizes that what has befallen him was not going to miss him and that which missed him was not going to befall him." (Tirmidhi)
7. Take Action
Then act on your decision. Step forward with the confidence that this is what Allah has willed for you to be doing now and give it your best shot. And don’t worry!
If after you’ve taken action, you gain more information and realise that another course of action would be better, you can always change paths. Very few things in life are so fixed in stone that they can’t be changed. But don’t hold off taking action through fear of this...break through your worries, ask for Allah’s help on the path and then take action!
Praying that this will help you to make worry-free decisions!
By SuperMuslimah Project Worry-Free Decision Making Model
“I’m indecisive; I tend to think too much.”
“I don’t feel confident about my decisions.”
Ever caught yourself saying anything like this?
I often hear phrases like these from my clients. Worrying over decisions is a real issue for many sisters, so I thought it would be useful to give you some tools to overcome your decision-making worries. F, this one’s for you!
Many sisters are wary about taking decisions, especially the major ones. They take ages thinking about them, imagining all the worst potential scenarios that could ever possibly occur. They toss their ideas around in their head, worrying for days, and then often end up not moving forward. It’s not that these sisters don’t make a decision, they do; but the decision is often not to make any changes and to stay within their familiar zone, no matter how uncomfortable that is!
Other sisters act on their decisions, but afterwards they go over and over what they did, berating themselves for not having done it better/more/less. They don’t look for the possible good in what was done; just what they perceive as being bad or wrong.
What a sad situation...so much joy, pleasure and satisfaction being missed, and also time needlessly wasted! So what can be done to remedy this?
There are a number of different models to assist with the decision making process, and I’ve merged a few of them together to give you the:
SuperMuslimah Project Worry-Free Decision Making Model: SAIISTA
1. Define the Situation
The first stage is to be clear on what the decision is all about. This might sound too obvious, but until you really analyse what you want to change and achieve and whether this fits in with your personal goals, you could be spending time on the wrong decision.
Is it just that you want to lose 10kg in weight or do you also want your husband and children to lose weight too? Do you just want to get a new job or do you want one that enables you to better meet your responsibilities? There may be more than one thing that you need to factor in.
State your desired outcome in a positive way so you know precisely what you hope to achieve. Instead of saying, “I want to stop spending so much time alone,” you could decide that “I want to meet some new sisters who I have interests in common with”.
2. Generate Alternatives
It will depend on the complexity of the decision how long this stage will take. Complex decisions could necessitate you sitting down with a piece of paper or your journal and brainstorming as many options as possible. Follow threads of ideas and see where they take you. Let your imagination run wild. You can always eliminate the ludicrous ideas later on, but in the middle of them you might just come up with a creative way to deal with the situation.
It may also be useful to do this exercise with someone else so you can bounce ideas off each other and come up with novel solutions.
3. Istishara (Information Gathering)
One of the characteristics of the believers is that “And whose affair [is determined by] consultation among themselves.” (Surah Ash-Shura, 42:38)
So once you have generated your own options, seek information from trustworthy knowledgeable people or sources. That may mean consulting a dietician, going to a careers coach or researching the internet for local Islamic groups you could join. Don’t take too long on this stage, as it could turn into another means of avoiding taking the decision!
Once you’ve got as much information as you reasonably can, weigh up the pros and cons of your information. Do this either by writing them down so you can work through them or, depending on the subject and your own preferred style, it may be sufficient to just weigh them up mentally.
4. Istikhara (Prayer for Guidance)
The next stage is Istikhara; praying to Allah for guidance to make the right decision. “Allah's Prophet (salAllahu `alayhi wasallam) used to teach his Companions to perform the prayer of Istikhara for each and every matter, just as he used to teach them the Surahs from the Qur'an.” (Bukhari)
Pray two Rakahs of voluntary prayer at the best time possible and when you’ve finished turn to Allah and ask Him to guide you to make the right decision. If you can’t pray due to a lawful reason, just do the Dua` on its own; you don’t need to wait.
5. Make your Selection
Next comes the time when you need to make your choice. It’s decision time. Make sure that you are in a good frame of mind to make your decision, that your thoughts are clear and you aren’t feeling stressed.
As you’ve already done Istikhara, follow your inclinations to whatever you feel inspired to do. Accept Allah’s guidance; listen to what your heart is telling you. You’ve already done the research; it’s now time to listen to your heart. And if your inclinations have changed after doing Istikhara, don’t insist on doing what you were inclined to previously, follow the new inclination.
6. Tawakkul (Putting your trust in Allah)
Allah tells us: “And when you have decided, then rely upon Allah.” (Surah Al-Imran, 3:159) Place your trust in Him that whatever you have decided is the best thing for you to do now. You can’t anticipate all the consequences that will come from your decision, only Allah knows what they will be. Accept that whatever the result, whether you judge it to be good or bad, it will be what was meant to be and it will be best for you in the long term.
"No slave of Allah will truly believe until he believes in al-Qadr its good and evil, and until he realizes that what has befallen him was not going to miss him and that which missed him was not going to befall him." (Tirmidhi)
7. Take Action
Then act on your decision. Step forward with the confidence that this is what Allah has willed for you to be doing now and give it your best shot. And don’t worry!
If after you’ve taken action, you gain more information and realise that another course of action would be better, you can always change paths. Very few things in life are so fixed in stone that they can’t be changed. But don’t hold off taking action through fear of this...break through your worries, ask for Allah’s help on the path and then take action!
Praying that this will help you to make worry-free decisions!
By SuperMuslimah Project Worry-Free Decision Making Model
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Managing your emotions
Week 1: Write down your emotions
Keep a log book of your emotions & the things that trigger those emotions.
Week 2: The power of self-awareness
Normally we go through life not aware of ourselves or our emotions and hence we act reactively to life instead of proactively. If you are self-aware, you’ll better understand yourself and better understand your emotions and hence be able to manage your emotions better.
Week 3: Body Hacks
Good exercising and healthy eating can boost your emotional well-being.
1. Good Exercising: Exercise is a great way to feel positive and good about yourself even though you’re emotionally down. Whenever you feel stressed/depressed, a simple quick jog, or running around the block will put you in positive mood. Try it and let me know!
2. Healthy eating: If you’re feeling low, and you’re hungry, you’ll feel worse. You might not feel like eating when you’re anxious or stressed, but that’s the best thing you can do to fuel your body and your positive emotions. (Now careful here, don’t go the other extreme and over-eat either! Have a balanced meal).
Week 4: Mental Hacks
Next set of tips is on ‘Mental Hacks’, ways to tackle your mind so that you don’t get emotionally distraught about things and able to manage your emotions. Here’s what to do:
1. Write it down: There’s nothing more powerful in managing your emotions then simply writing what you’re going through on paper. Some people worry that others might read what they’ll write, don’t worry, simply write it down and then throw it in the bin. You don’t have to keep these thoughts stored anywhere. You’re simply trying to off-load your mind with all sorts of negative thoughts that are affecting your emotions.
2. Talk to somebody: Holding it in or ‘Imploding’ will kill you emotionally and make your life really difficult. Talk to a trusted friend or family member of what you’re going through and notice how you’ll feel far better afterwards.
3. Mind vs. Heart: Normally, whenever you’re going through emotionally difficult, a tug-of-war occurs between your logical brain and your emotional heart. Sometimes the emotional heart can go to the extreme and think it’s the end of the world for you and you’ll never be the same and you’ll never heal emotionally..etc., however, this is when sometimes using your logical brain to calm things down can help. Give each issue you face it’s true magnitude, think of Pros and Cons, think what could be the worst case scenario…etc. Simply using your logical brain in emotional situations can help you calm down and deal with things rationally, inshaAllah. (p.s. I won’t fall into the debate of which should rule, the mind or the heart, but this is simply to say that you should use both the mind and heart when trying to tackle emotional situations that are affecting you).
Our minds and mental ability are extremely powerful tools to help us manage our emotions, so let’s use them!
Week 5: Spiritual Hacks
1. Salah: you cannot underestimate the power of Salah in managing emotions especially negative emotions. When you feel down/depressed/anxious or stressed, instead of torturing yourself with those emotions, get up and make wudhu and pray 2 rak’ah and watch yourself feel 10 times better afterwards. If praying 2 rak’ah didn’t help, pray 2 more, and 2 more…until you feel better, and trust me, you’ll feel better. Salah is the gift that Allah (Subhanahu Wa Ta’ala) has given us in this world and one cannot describe the type of spiritual heart surgery that occurs during prayer which makes you feel so much better inshaAllah.
2. Quran: After praying your 2 rak’ah, and if you’re still feeling down. Pick up the Quran and read the Quran. Don’t just read a page or two, but truly immerse yourself in the experience and read as much as you can. After a while you’ll notice that your negative emotions are gone and you’re feeling really calm and relaxed. When you’re reading the Quran, imagine Allah (Subhanahu Wa Ta’ala) speaking to you through His Quran and try to understand every word and every meaning and perhaps you might find the answer to your emotional situation in the verses you’re reading.
3. Dua: You’ve prayed 2 rak’ah, you’ve read lots of Quran, now it’s time to turn to Him (Subhanahu Wa Ta’ala) and ask Him for His help in your situation. Ask Him to give you the calmness and happiness you want in your life. Ask Him to give you the blessing of tranquility regardless of the situation you’re facing. And by the way, when making dua, don’t just read the standard duas you read daily, but truly speak to Allah (Subhanahu Wa Ta’ala) even in your own language and ask him what you want. He listens and He understands and He knows what you’re going through. Just be sincere and humble when making the dua and you’ll feel the sweetness of being the slave of Allah (Subhanahu Wa Ta’ala) inshaAllah.
These three powerful Spiritual tips can destroy any negative emotions in your heart and replace them with happiness and tranquility inshaAllah.
Keep a log book of your emotions & the things that trigger those emotions.
Week 2: The power of self-awareness
Normally we go through life not aware of ourselves or our emotions and hence we act reactively to life instead of proactively. If you are self-aware, you’ll better understand yourself and better understand your emotions and hence be able to manage your emotions better.
Week 3: Body Hacks
Good exercising and healthy eating can boost your emotional well-being.
1. Good Exercising: Exercise is a great way to feel positive and good about yourself even though you’re emotionally down. Whenever you feel stressed/depressed, a simple quick jog, or running around the block will put you in positive mood. Try it and let me know!
2. Healthy eating: If you’re feeling low, and you’re hungry, you’ll feel worse. You might not feel like eating when you’re anxious or stressed, but that’s the best thing you can do to fuel your body and your positive emotions. (Now careful here, don’t go the other extreme and over-eat either! Have a balanced meal).
Week 4: Mental Hacks
Next set of tips is on ‘Mental Hacks’, ways to tackle your mind so that you don’t get emotionally distraught about things and able to manage your emotions. Here’s what to do:
1. Write it down: There’s nothing more powerful in managing your emotions then simply writing what you’re going through on paper. Some people worry that others might read what they’ll write, don’t worry, simply write it down and then throw it in the bin. You don’t have to keep these thoughts stored anywhere. You’re simply trying to off-load your mind with all sorts of negative thoughts that are affecting your emotions.
2. Talk to somebody: Holding it in or ‘Imploding’ will kill you emotionally and make your life really difficult. Talk to a trusted friend or family member of what you’re going through and notice how you’ll feel far better afterwards.
3. Mind vs. Heart: Normally, whenever you’re going through emotionally difficult, a tug-of-war occurs between your logical brain and your emotional heart. Sometimes the emotional heart can go to the extreme and think it’s the end of the world for you and you’ll never be the same and you’ll never heal emotionally..etc., however, this is when sometimes using your logical brain to calm things down can help. Give each issue you face it’s true magnitude, think of Pros and Cons, think what could be the worst case scenario…etc. Simply using your logical brain in emotional situations can help you calm down and deal with things rationally, inshaAllah. (p.s. I won’t fall into the debate of which should rule, the mind or the heart, but this is simply to say that you should use both the mind and heart when trying to tackle emotional situations that are affecting you).
Our minds and mental ability are extremely powerful tools to help us manage our emotions, so let’s use them!
Week 5: Spiritual Hacks
1. Salah: you cannot underestimate the power of Salah in managing emotions especially negative emotions. When you feel down/depressed/anxious or stressed, instead of torturing yourself with those emotions, get up and make wudhu and pray 2 rak’ah and watch yourself feel 10 times better afterwards. If praying 2 rak’ah didn’t help, pray 2 more, and 2 more…until you feel better, and trust me, you’ll feel better. Salah is the gift that Allah (Subhanahu Wa Ta’ala) has given us in this world and one cannot describe the type of spiritual heart surgery that occurs during prayer which makes you feel so much better inshaAllah.
2. Quran: After praying your 2 rak’ah, and if you’re still feeling down. Pick up the Quran and read the Quran. Don’t just read a page or two, but truly immerse yourself in the experience and read as much as you can. After a while you’ll notice that your negative emotions are gone and you’re feeling really calm and relaxed. When you’re reading the Quran, imagine Allah (Subhanahu Wa Ta’ala) speaking to you through His Quran and try to understand every word and every meaning and perhaps you might find the answer to your emotional situation in the verses you’re reading.
3. Dua: You’ve prayed 2 rak’ah, you’ve read lots of Quran, now it’s time to turn to Him (Subhanahu Wa Ta’ala) and ask Him for His help in your situation. Ask Him to give you the calmness and happiness you want in your life. Ask Him to give you the blessing of tranquility regardless of the situation you’re facing. And by the way, when making dua, don’t just read the standard duas you read daily, but truly speak to Allah (Subhanahu Wa Ta’ala) even in your own language and ask him what you want. He listens and He understands and He knows what you’re going through. Just be sincere and humble when making the dua and you’ll feel the sweetness of being the slave of Allah (Subhanahu Wa Ta’ala) inshaAllah.
These three powerful Spiritual tips can destroy any negative emotions in your heart and replace them with happiness and tranquility inshaAllah.